There Was Going To Be Cake
by MarkKB
Summary: No-one wanted to come to Pinkie Pie's party, and she knew the reason - they all hated her. And why stay in a town where everyone hates you?
1. Standard Deviation

**Author's notes:** Yes, I know I'm working on too many fanfics already, but my my muses insist! ^^;

This fic is a 'what-if' based around the episode 'Party of One'. As such, it takes place outside of canon, although I'm going to try and keep it as close as I can outside the events in this fic. Consider it a parallel dimension, if you will.

Friendship Is Magic, of course, belongs to the folks at Hasbro.

* * *

**There Was Going To Be Cake  
Chapter 1: Standard Deviation**

_Or: The Part You Know, Plus a Bit You Don't_

Spike was a simple dragon, with simple tastes – or so he reasoned. Sure, somehow he'd get caught up in some crazy scheme or adventure on the account of Twilight Sparkle, but all he asked for in return is that his appetite be satisfied, his nights sheltered, and for him to be in one piece at the end of the day.

Oh, and he wouldn't pass up any possibility for a meal of gems if it came around, either.

It was for this last reason, or so he'd thought, that he had been sitting down to a table at Sugarcube Corner with Pinkie Pie, a plate of luscious rubies, delicious emeralds and scrumptious sapphires sparkling before him, just begging to be eaten.

But that was before Pinkie had swung a lamp in his face.

"_NO, YOU'RE NOT UNDERSTANDING!_" the pink poofy pony yelled at him, after several failed attempts to convey her intentions across. "_I WANT YOU TO CONFESS!_"

Spike shrunk back into his chair – he'd _never_ seen Pinkie Pie upset, and certainly not this angry. This new mood she was in – it was _scary_.

Well, there was nothing else to it – he supposed he'd have to tell somepony _sooner_ or later.

"Alright!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "I'm the one who spilt juice all over Twilight's copy of _Magical Mysteries and Practical Potions_!"

He cowered in the chair, bracing himself for the swift punishment that was sure to follow.

But it didn't come.

Spike opened an eye. Pinkie was still glaring at him.

"_And_?" she asked, hovering over him like a vulture.

_Oh, crud, she knows, doesn't she!_

"And I'm the one who used all the hot water in Ponyville yesterday when I took a seven-hour bubble-bath!"

"_Aaand_?"

'And'? What else was there? Spike racked his mind, searching for what possibly Pinkie could be talking about.

And then something popped into his head, and he shivered. _If Pinkie knows about that, I might as well die of embarrassment right here._

_Oh well,_ he told himself. _Might as well get it over and done with._

"And sometimes, when no-one's around, I do this:"

He grabbed a mirror that had been leaning against the wall and placed it on the floor in front of him so Pinkie could see his reflection. He then clenched his claws and bulged his arm muscles (which, as a diminutive dragon, didn't do very much.)

"Lookin' good, Spike! Looking _real_ good!" he said, attempting to appear as macho as he possibly could.

Pinkie stared at him for a few moments, her eyes wide with incredulousness.

And then she shook her head feverishly.

"No, _no, no, NO!_"

She slammed the mirror aside and rounded on the purple dragon, staring daggers directly into his eyes.

Spike had absolutely no idea what was going on. As far as he was concerned, he was here for gems – and Pinkie was not making the conditions of that arrangement clear.

Maybe if he asked her to clarify, he could get to the bottom of this thing.

"Well, what do you want to hear? Tell me what you want me to say and I'll say it!"

"Tell me," said Pinkie, glaring at him as if he was being purposely obtuse. "_Tell me_ that my friends are all _lying to me_ and _avoiding me_ because they d_on't like me_ and that they _don't want to come_ to _my PARTIES_ because they don't want to be _MY FRIENDS ANYMORE!_"

She panted slowly, staring at Spike with anticipation.

Spike shrugged. That was easy enough – why didn't she just say so in the first place?

"Uh- your friends are all lying to you and avoiding you because they don't like you and that they don't want to come to your parties because they don't want to be your friends anymore?"

"HA! I KNEW IT!" she shouted triumphantly, jumping back about half a foot.

In the glare of the light, Spike could not see Pinkie any more, and since their arrangement had been completed, he now turned his attention to the gems, which were even now glittering in the dim light.

Actually, he should probably get confirmation first – if this experience had taught him anything, it was that Pinkie Pie could be incredibly flip-floppy.

Pinkie was muttering something to herself, although what it was he couldn't hear. He sighed, waited for her to finish, and turned off the lamp.

"Uh, so…"

Pinkie pushed the plate towards Spike.

"Sweet!" he exclaimed, and started digging in.

Something nagging in his brain told him that Pinkie somehow looked… different. But he ignored those thoughts – after all, it was probably nothing.

* * *

Pinkie sighed. Trust Spike to follow his stomach instead of his brain.

And then she sighed again, but this was a sad, hollow sigh.

Her friends didn't like her.

Up unto now, her life had been joyful, full of cheer and glee. Heck, she'd been happy so long she'd almost forgotten what it was like to be miserable.

But here it was again – the same old sad feeling. The feeling she had felt almost constantly in her youth. The feeling of emptiness and despair, of hopelessness and sorrow.

And of terrible, terrible loneliness.

She slowly walked down the stairwell to the bakery. As she entered, she caught a glimpse of herself in a mirror, her hair, far from being its usual poofy self, now long and straight.

She didn't care. She couldn't be bothered to try and poof it up again.

Her friends didn't want to come to her parties.

A row of cupcakes, freshly baked, sat on the kitchen bench – Mrs. Cake had most likely left them there to sit while she attended to some grocery shopping or something. Pinkie briefly entertained the thought of eating one, but realised that there was probably no point – it wouldn't make her happy, nor would it fill the gaping hole in her heart where her friends had been.

She wandered out of the shop and into Main Street; as she walked, ponies of all descriptions bustled about her, doing whatever it was they did all day, all of them with smiles on their faces.

How could the world be so happy, so blissfully unaware? How could there be sunshine and laughter and goodness when she felt so miserable?

Her friends didn't want to be her friends anymore.

Had it all been a lie? Had they been pretending to get along with her, only because of social obligation? Maybe they all _hated_ her! Perhaps all the smiles were just masks that they all wore to hide the fact that deep down inside, they hated everything _about_ her!

Suddenly, she stopped. If her friends didn't want to be her friends anymore, then there was no reason for her to be in Ponyville.

If they didn't like her, there was no reason she should stay and cause them any more pain.

And if they didn't like her parties, then what was the use in throwing them?

Pinkie slammed her hoof to the ground. It was decided, then. She'd take Gummy and a few belongings and she'd-

She galloped as fast as she could, pushing through the bustling crowd as she made her way back to the shop, and then bounded up the stairway.

At the top of the stair, Spike was still munching on gemstones, the plate about halfway finished. Pinkie stared at him for a moment, glaring at his deceitful smile, his faked laidback position. He probably hated her too – he probably couldn't stand being in the same room as her! Look at how, even with the secret exposed, he _can't stop lying!_

And it was all the same with the other ponies, Pinkie thought angrily. They'd pretend it was all okay, that she was being silly, but she knew the truth. The truth that not even 'honest' Applejack could tell her, not even 'kind' Fluttershy could bring herself to say, not even 'generous' Rarity could give to her, and not even 'loyal' Rainbow Dash could spit out at her. The truth that not even the magic of Twilight Sparkle was able to hide.

The truth that tore her apart from the inside out.

Well, fine then! Let them think that way! She didn't need them! If anything, they needed her!

She collected a handkerchief and tied it to a stick, and placed in it a couple of bits, a bit of the cake she'd been planning to give her fair-weather friends, and-

Her eyes moved over a perfectly-stacked pile of rocks. To anyone else, they would seem uninteresting, and even odd – who'd own a pile of rocks? But these rocks were special; they were her prized rock collection – her only reminder of home.

She stowed them away in her bag, making sure they didn't smoosh the cake, and then glanced around the room, looking for the one being that remained her loyal friend.

Gummy sat on the windowsill, blinking his eyes.

"Come on, Gummy," she said. "It's time to go."

Gummy looked at her for a moment, then leapt into her mane.

"Uh- did I hear you were _going_ somewhere?"

Pinkie looked sideways – Spike had stopped eating and was now staring at her with curiosity.

Yeah, curiosity at her pain and suffering.

"Oh, what do _you_ care?" she said, glaring at him.

"I- uh- I mean- no?"

He had said it! He didn't care! None of them cared!

Well, even if they had _said_ they cared, they'd still be lying. Oh, they were good liars, all of them, but she could see through them all now.

She walked back outside with kerchief in mouth, and took one last look around. This town didn't need her – it was doing perfectly fine without her. And if that was true, and her friends all hated her then she should just-

She should _just-_

_ Leave_, she told herself resolutely. _Leave, and never come back_.


	2. Points of Data

**There Was Going To Be Cake  
Chapter 2: Points of Data**

_Or: Spike Realises What He's Done_

Smokey puffs of ashen cloud drifted over the pale-blue sky, curling and swirling streams of white and grey before fading into the ether. Sometimes they would make familiar shapes and objects, some reminiscent of party streamers or balloons on long tethers of twine.

Pinkamina Diane Pie looked up and sighed – reminders of a happier time were things she did not need.

The reason for the name 'Pinkamina Diane' was twofold – first, it was her birth name, given to her by her parents in honour of Diane, her grandmother, and Pinkamina, her aunt. 'Pinkie' was a shortening of the name, one she had chosen because it felt cheery and light and fun – but now, Pinkamina felt none of those things.

She was now on the outskirts of Ponyville, if you could say a small town like Ponyville had outskirts – it was more like a rural farmland that purveyed the landscape for miles. It was maybe another kilometre or two to the train station, although she could see the wisps from the engine already.

She looked from farmyard to farmyard, just taking in the scenery – all the fascinating sights and sounds. In one, puffy sheep brayed and whispered to and reassured each other of the coming night; in another, cornstalks swayed to the beat of the wind. Yellow bales of hay on a rusty starch-coloured hill lay in a third, and on a forth, somepony was driving a plough through a field of dirt, leaving in their wake straight furrows, perfectly aligned and awaiting the seeds that they'd eventually receive.

Although it had been many years since she'd walked down this road, she could not shake the feeling of familiarity, although it was a rather vague feeling at best. It seemed that, even if she could not remember things specifically, somewhere in her head something was recognising the scenes she saw before her.

Before her she could see the roof of a silo, just peeking out from behind a depression in the land ahead. The feeling of familiarity was _much_ stronger here, although she still could not place her hoof on it, nor could she answer the question 'why would a silo seem important?' It was only when she reached the edge of the depression that the answer came to her.

Before her lay a field, much like the others in some ways, but most peculiar in others. Just like many of them, the otherwise exposed dirt was absolutely covered in a crop of some description, and like many others there was a small, two-story house and a silo for storing tools. The way it differed, however, was in the _kind_ of crop it offered.

The soil in this farm, you see, was absolutely perfect for growing rocks.

Rock-growing soil was very difficult to maintain, and one must keep the space clear, otherwise it became difficult to harvest. Well, one should probably say _more_ difficult, because rock picking was difficult enough without the complications.

It was for these reasons that most ponies did not grow their own rocks, even the farmers among them – and it was in this area that the Pie family had carved a niche for themselves.

And it was that very silo in which she had thrown her very first party.

_This was it. This was my home!_

Pinkamina took off, almost loosing Gummy in the process; at an almost unmaintainable gallop, she rushed down the bank of the depression and across the field of rocks, very nearly stumbling to a pratfall several times. She leapt onto the veranda, bounded across the wooden floor, and knocked on the door several times, hoping to give whoever answered a big, welcoming surprise.

But no one answered.

"Ma, Pa! It's Pinkamina!"

She banged on it louder – perhaps it hadn't been loud enough? But still nothing stirred.

She tried one last time, hitting the door as hard as she could.

It must have been too hard, for the door fell to the floor before her, thrusting a puff of dust into the air.

"Ma? Pa?"

The interior was dim and dark. A flutter of something caught Pinkamina's attention; she looked to it and saw that it had been a sheet covering a small comfy-chair. In fact, looking around revealed that much of the furniture had the same white sheets covering them, and everything had been coated in a layer of dust. Outcroppings of stone burst through the floor, cracking and splintering the fine woodwork into something that looked rather fragile indeed.

She looked back at the field, and the truth that she had not seen in her rush to see her family revelled itself – rather than isolated rocks with plenty of room to breathe, the entire field was covered in a jagged rock floor. The veranda also had rocks bursting through the surface, and even the silo had a stone or two breaking through its concrete walls. This place had obviously not been tended for quite some time.

The bitter disappointment that she had been feeling brimmed to the surface once more, and this time it was her family added to the growing list of things she could no longer rely on.

She sighed, and looked to the sky, where the puffs of smoke from the train still hang in the air. It was growing dark, and by the time she'd reach the train yard it would be night. In Ponyville, she felt – _had_ felt – safe to roam the streets by night, but she did not know if there were any unsavoury folks in this part of Equestria. It was probably for the best that she sheltered for the night, and went to the train station in the early morning instead.

Slowly, she wandered across the field of rocks, until she reached the tall silo. Not without some difficulty, she pushed the door of the silo open, walked inside, placed her kerchief down, and lay on the bare concrete floor.

Gummy hopped off of her mane and snuggled beside her cheek. At least there was _someone_ she could rely on.

If a passer-by were to, whatever reason, put their ear to the door of the silo, they would have sworn that they could hear a soft, sombre sobbing coming from the abandoned building, as if the ghost of a child had moved in instead. But Pinkamina would never admit to such a thing – even in her darkest moments, she would never want to make anyone unnecessarily worry about her.

She could take care of herself.

* * *

Worrying, however, was exactly what her friends were doing.

"Rainbow Dash!" exclaimed Twilight, as the cyan-coloured pegasus landed gracefully through the open door of the barn at Sweet Apple Acres. "Any word on-"

Rainbow Dash shook her head, her multi-coloured mane swaying with her movements.

"I looked _everywhere_! Neither of the Cakes have seen her since this morning, and she's _definitely_ not in her room. I-"

"Did you check in with her brother and sister?" asked Twilight.

"Yes, Twilight. I just can't-"

"What about the park?"

"Yes, Twilight, but-"

"She's not at Fluttershy's, is she?"

"No, and besides, Fluttershy would have run into her when she went to feed her chickens. But-"

"What about-"

Rainbow Dash sighed. "Trust me, when I say I checked everywhere, I mean _everywhere!_ As far as I can tell, she's not in Ponyville anymore."

Twilight frowned. "You don't think she had some kind of appointment somewhere else?"

"If she did, she didn't mention it to _anyone_. And besides, why would she schedule a party on the same day?"

"Well, not everypony is very good at organising," said Twilight. "Still, you'd think even _Pinkie_ wouldn't miss something _quite_ as obvious."

"Especially on her _birthday_," agreed Rainbow Dash.

"Heya, fellas," announced a voice from the door of the barn, and Twilight and Rainbow Dash turned to see an amber-coloured pony enter the room. "Any news on Pinkie Pie?"

"Hey, Applejack," said Twilight. "No, I'm afraid not."

"Y'all don't recon she's, uh, upset?" Applejack asked hesitantly. "We did kinda blow her off and everythin', and you saw how she was with Rainbow Dash."

"Trust me, I've known Pinkie as long as anypony," said Rainbow Dash, "and there's not been a _single thing_ that's made Pinkie upset. She's been as perky every day as the day I met her."

Silence hung in the air for a moment, emphasising Pinkie's state of not-being there.

And then Twilight had an idea.

"Uh, I'd hate to bring this up," she said nervously, "but what if she was… well, kidnapped?"

"Kidnapped!?" Rainbow Dash shook her head. "_No_pony would do that-"

"No-one in Ponyville, sure," said Twilight, "but not everywhere is like Ponyville, and you know how Pinkie reacts when she meets someone new. If they walked in to town and Pinkie greeted them, then-"

"You're overthinking things, Twi," said Applejack. "For now, let's assume that wherever she is, she went there under her own horsepower. If we don't find her by night's end tomorrow, _then_ we can start worrying."

"I hope you're right," said Twilight, staring out at the ever-darkening sky. "I _really_ hope you're right."

* * *

Spike yawned, stretched his arms and leaned back in the chair he was sitting. He had just awoken from what he had initially thought was a short nap, although if the sky was any indication it had been much longer than that – it was already nighttime.

There were still a few gems left on the plate before him, although they had been displaced by his sleeping mug. He could always eat those later, he decided – there were a small enough group that he could carry them with ease.

Why hadn't Pinkie Pie woken him up? She knew Twilight had a strict curfew in place for him, and-

_Wait, Pinkie Pie!_

He went to get up, but as he took his feet off of the table, the chair destabilised and fell, sending him barrelling backwards until he ran into the wall, upside down.

He rolled himself forwards and stood up, rubbing his head as he did. Sometimes it paid to be a dragon, and the tougher exterior was one of those advantages.

He ran down the stairs and through the store, almost bumping into Mrs. Cake as she was leaving for the night.

"Oh, Spike, dear!" Mrs. Cake said. "You haven't seen-"

"Sorry, nice to see you, can't stop, gotta run!" Spike shouted hurriedly.

He did not stop until he reached the library.

"Oh, Spike, is that you?" came Twilight's voice from upstairs, as Spike slammed the door shut. "I've been looking all over for you – you haven't seen Pinkie, have you? Anyway, I need to send a letter to-"

Spike couldn't take it any longer - all of his fears began rushing out of his mouth at once.

"IthinkImighthavemadePinkiePi eleaveandifIdidthenI'mreallyreallysorrybut-"

"What was that?" Twilight's purple head poked out from the study on the upper floor.

"Okay." He took a deep breath. "Pinkie Pie invited me over for some lunch – only before the lunch, she got really weird. Like she was interrogating me or something. You know, like how they do on _N.E.C.I.S_ when the old guy locks him and the perp in-"

"I get the picture," said Twilight, walking down the stairs. "Although – aren't you a little _young_ to be watching that show?"

"Uh- well- I just saw the trailers?"

"Very well," she said, smiling a little as if she didn't quite believe him. "Continue."

"I figured that she was playing some kind of game or something – you know how Pinkie is like with games – but then she got kind of, well, scary."

"Scary?"

"She started yelling stuff at me – like _confess! _I kinda panicked, so I asked her to tell me what she wanted me to say, and, well…"

Twilight raised her eyebrow. "Don't tell me this is going where I think it's going. Pinkie Pie wouldn't-"

"I'm sorry! I didn't think of it at the time, I just kinda repeated what she said! I didn't-"

Twilight looked at Spike very closely with one eye, as if she was trying to see into his very soul.

"What did she say, Spike."

It wasn't a question. It was a demand.

"Uh- that her friends have been ignoring her and won't come to her parties because they don't want to be her friends anymore?"

Spike shivered and braced, but Twilight just sighed and looked away.

"Oh, _Spike_."

She looked back up.

"What happened after that?"

"Well, she gave me the gems, and then she put a few things into a handkerchief and she kinda, well, left."

"But surely she didn't… _leave_ leave? Maybe she just went to get some fresh air, or have a picnic or something."

"That's what I thought too – it gets kind of stuffy up there. But then I fell asleep, and when I woke up it was already night."

"Pinkie knows you have a curfew," said Twilight, echoing his earlier thoughts.

"Exactly! And then all the pieces fell into place, why she'd been asking all those weird questions, and then I remembered what she asked me to tell her and – _please_ don't ask Princess Celestria to send me to the moon!"

"What? Why would I-"

"Sweet Luna, what am I talking about? She doesn't need _you_ to tell her, she probably already knows! I'll be banished to the moon where I'll be all alone and I won't see anypony ever again and I'll have nothing to eat but moon rocks! And moon rocks taste _terrible_!"

"You've eaten moon rocks before?"

"No, but _something_ had to have made Nightmare Moon so cranky when you ran into her!"

Twilight giggled into her hoof a bit.

"_Please_ don't make her send me to the moon, I'm begging you!" He got down onto his knees, mustered the saddest look he could, and clasped his hands together. "_Pleeeeaaas-_"

"I'm not going to ask Princess Celestria to send you to the moon," said Twilight. "You made a mistake. You're still pretty young, you're allowed to make mistakes." She narrowed her eyes with determination. "But we still have to find Pinkie. Spike, take a letter."

"You're not going to tell her about me, are you?"

"I'm writing a letter asking for Princess Celestria to send over their best search-and-rescue teams," said Twilight. "She could be in the Everfree Forest, and Rainbow Dash wants to lead a search there."

"Why not ask for the Wonderbolts – they could probably cover the ground faster."

'Spike, Pinkie or not, you know how Rainbow Dash gets around the Wonderbolts," said Twilight. "No, we have to send someone who she _won't_ go starstruck over."

"Alright," said Spike. "So, you won't tell her?"

Twilight smiled. "Of course not. I'll leave that up to you to write about, if and when you choose to do so."

"Thanks," Spike grinned, then picked up a piece of parchment. "So, Dear Princess Celestria?"

"Right," said Twilight. "Our dear friend Pinkie Pie is missing-"

Spike breathed a sigh of relief to himself. At least Twilight had understood him.

But he was also worried. Where could have Pinkie Pie gone? Could she be lost, frightened, alone? Could she be, at this moment, cowering beneath some beast of the night, all because of him?

_We'll find you_, he said to himself as he wrote what Twilight dictated. _Don't worry, Pinkie Pie - we'll find you_.


	3. A Beautiful Line

**There Was Going To Be Cake  
****Chapter 3: A Beautiful Line**_  
_

_Or: Pinkamina Goes To The Train Yard, And The Search Begins_

_Tug-tug. Tug-tug._

Pinkie yawned, stretched her legs, and blinked her eyes open. Something had disturbed her from her sleep – goodness knows, she didn't usually wake at this hour unless she had an extra-super-duper p-

She paused, sighed, and let the thought play out. A super-duper-looper _party_ planned.

But something had awoken her. Something had-

Something had been pulling at her mane.

"_Gummy, what is it?_" she asked, turning to face the direction of the tugging.

What she saw was most definitely _not_ Gummy.

"_Aaargh!"_

"Aaaaaaaaaaa!" said the face in return; leaping to its feet, the figure ran to a 'corner' (as much as a circular building could have corners) and made herself as small possible, shivering with fright.

Pinkamina blinked, rubbed her eyes, and examined the intruder. She was a gray mare, with slightly disjointed wings and long blonde hair; on her flank was the distinct markings of a collection of bubbles.

"_Ditzy Doo?_" she asked wearily.

At the sound of her name, the pegasus stopped shivering; she looked up and then, most unexpectedly, began to smile.

"Hey, you're the pink party pony!" she exclaimed, clapping her hooves together.

"Well, I _was_." She sighed. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh- I live here! When I came here I found it all empties and none of the other ponies had any room and- is it yours? Because if it is, I'm so sorry, I thought it was abandoned and-"

"N-no, that's- fine, I guess." So this was how Piglet felt when he gave up his house for Eeyore.

"Great!" She paused, then clicked a hoof. "You look sad. I know, wanna see my bubbles?"

"Uh-"

"Wait right there! I'll just go get my bubble set!" She turned to leave, and then turned her head back. "Don't worry, you'll be smiling in no time – I can make a bubble look like _any_ pony in Ponyville! Just wait there."

And with that, Ditzy had left.

Pinkamina sighed. She _should_ wait there, if only just to see what she was talking about. Who knows, perhaps it would make her smile again?

_What if she's just pretending?_ a deep, male voice in her head asked.

No, she'd known Ditzy for far too long. She wouldn't lie to her.

_What about your other friends?_ the voice asked. _You've known them for longer, and they stab you in the back!_

That was different! And even if it wasn't, perhaps her old friends _did_ have a good explanation for-

_You heard it straight from Spike! _the voice rebutted._ And what reason would he have for lying to you!_

_Yes, ze is joost pretending to be jour friend!_ Another voice, this one sounding female and foreign, joined the first. _Ze is joost as two-fa-ced as ze rest of zem!_

_Look how she kept glancing aside with her left eye!_ said the first. _That's as shifty as they come!_

_Ze is joost going to let jou down,_ the second replied,_ joost like ze odders!_

Yeah! Pinkamina stomped her hoof on the floor. And if she wasn't wanted here, she might as well leave!

She bounded out of the silo, up the depression, and started back down the road, not looking back to her childhood home. She wanted to remember it as it _was_, not as it had become, and besides, she could not bear to look at yet another faking, _lying _pony again.

It'd be all too much.

* * *

"Alright," announced Rainbow Dash, hovering just outside the Everfree Forest path before a rather large congregation of ponies, many of whom were in some kind of fluorescent-yellow uniform. "We're going to split this up into groups. I will lead team Alpha and take the portion to the east. Fluttershy, you take team Beta and lead them through the area to the south. If one of us find Pinkie, you – uh, well, Twilight said she was getting something that would make your location known to everyone else, so-"

"Uh, _me_?" Fluttershy shook her head. "Oh, no, I don't think I could do it. If I miss something important, I don't think I could _bear_-"

"Fluttershy, we need a pegasus to lead the search team, so they can keep a visual reference on where everypony is," Rainbow Dash explained. "Besides, you can use your special talent to help us search – you can ask your animal friends to help us!"

"I- I could?"

"And anyway, I know you wouldn't miss anything important – why, with all the special care you take to your animals, if you apply that to this search you'd probably be a natural!" She pumped up her chest. "But not as good as me, of course."

"Really? You really mean that?" Fluttershy beamed. "R-right, Rainbow Dash! I won't let you down!"

"That's the spirit, Fluttershy!"

Rainbow Dash turned to Applejack.

"Now, you will lead team Gamma through the farmland. You know that area better than anypony, so I expect you'll have a much easier time than us."

"Darn tootin'!" Applejack replied. "Why, I know that place like the back of my hoof, and Big Macintosh knows all the places I don't, so together we're sure to find her if she's still out there!"

"Right." Rainbow Dash turned back to face the crowd. "It's about nine o'clock. We'll meet at Zecora's hut at midday, and after lunch we'll continue the search until four o'clock. After that, we'll have to bring out some headlamps or it'll be too dark to- Twilight!"

The purple pony was galloping at top speed towards the congregation, with Spike holding on to her mane for dear life. Right behind her, panting and trying her hardest to keep up, was a white pony with a long purple mane.

"And… Rarity?"

Rainbow Dash glanced aside at Fluttershy, whose expression was just as perplexed as her own.

"Not to say that you don't want to help find Pinkie as well, but… what are _you_ doing here?"

"Why, Twilight and I have been working all through the _night!_" said Rarity. "You see, I remembered this spell that could create _magnificent_ displays of light, and when I showed it to Twilight, she agreed it was the perfect thing for your search. But, you see, it can _only_ be done by a unicorn-"

"Magic that can only be done by a unicorn? Really?" asked Rainbow Dash mockingly.

"Rainbow Dash, most of our technology runs off of magical energy, and it doesn't need a unicorn to power it," Twilight Sparkle pointed out.

Rainbow Dash merely blew on her fringe in response.

"Ahem! As I was saying, this spell needs to be done by a unicorn, and the problem is that it doesn't go very far into the air, so the signal would be obscured by the trees if _we_ tried to do it – but, that was when _Twilight_ remembered that there was a way to attach spells to objects for a limited amount of time."

"They're mainly used for area effect spells, although the ponies that used them… often weren't the most caring," Twilight explained. "They became the basis for 'curses' in folk stories of yore."

"The trouble is," continued Rarity, "that it is _very_ advanced magic. We had to practice non-stop for _hours_ to get even a _basic_ spell to stick! And then, the rest of the night for the specific spell we wanted."

"And then we had to associate it with an action – that took… that too-"

Twilight tried but failed to stifle a yawn.

"That took all morning to do. Triggers were easier to do than the initial spell, but it was still hard work."

"And I presume by 'we' you mean Twilight?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Oh, not at _all!_" said Rarity. "I reasoned, and Twilight agreed, that such magic would work better and faster with two unicorns pooling their magical powers, so to speak. And besides, I know I am of limited use in this situation – I wanted to do my bit for the team."

"That's nonsense, Rarity!" Twilight said, sideways glaring at Rainbow Dash, who shrugged sheepishly.

"So, what exactly does all that mumbo-jumbo mean?" asked Applejack.

"It means they have _this_," Spike replied, and produced a pair of transparent orbs from both fists.

Rainbow Dash flew up to them and glared at them for a few seconds. "How do you make it work?"

"Simple. Just apply pressure." And Spike squeezed on one of the orbs.

A multitude of bright green sparks flew out of the ball; they sparkled and lingered in the air before evaporating before them.

"Uh, perhaps unicorns and dragons can activate these… orb thingies easily," said Rainbow Dash, "but I've got a particular problem in that I _don't have any claws_." She clapped her hooves together for emphasis. "Nor any magic to speak of – and if I carry it in my mouth like a pen, it's liable to activate accidently!"

"Oops!" Twilight exclaimed. "We were spending so much time perfecting the spell that I… kind of forgot."

Rainbow Dash sighed. "It's- it's not a problem. Spike can ride on my back, and- uh…"

She glanced at Fluttershy. She was going to run into much the same trouble.

"I shall do it!" exclaimed Rarity. "I shall levitate the- _yaaaawn_ –the orb, and then activate it when… _yaaaaawn_ – when the proper time comes! Even icky, filthy, dreadful mud shall not temper my determination!"

She smiled wearily, and Rainbow Dash noticed the bags under her eyes.

"Rarity… you _really_ need to sleep. You too, Twilight."

Rarity took a step forward, glaring directly into Rainbow Dash's eyes as she did. "Then who shall activate the orb for Fluttershy?"

"Uh…"

"Oh, I'm sure Angel would be able to," said Fluttershy.

As if called by summon, the so-named white rabbit hopped into view and onto Fluttershy's back.

"Were you worried about me?"

Angel nodded and shook a small clock he had brought with him.

"Oh, it _has_ been a while. Sorry for forgetting about telling you what was happening."

"Right, then," said Rainbow Dash, nodding assuredly. "Applejack, uh-"

Now there was another problem – there was only two orbs. Her fault, really – she didn't tell Twilight she was planning to split the search parties into _three_ – but still a problem, none-the-less.

But Applejack provided her own solution to that.

"Since there'll be nothin' of the 'gettin' lost' problem to deal with," she said. "I reckon I can just send someone back to Ponyville and get Mrs. Mayor to ring the town bell."

"Right then, it's settled. Spike, are you ready?"

Spike glanced from Rainbow Dash's back to the sky and then back. "Uh, I dunno if it's safe… I mean, what if I fall off?"

Rainbow Dash humphed. "Me, drop something? Are you kidding? I'd rather live the rest of my life on the _ground_ than drop something while _flying_ – or fail at _anything_ while flying, for that matter."

"Do be a dear and help out," said Rarity. "If I cannot help further, at least I'll know my wittle Spikey-wikey is out there in my stead."

And with those words, she nuzzled Spike's cheek.

Rainbow Dash exchanged knowing smiles with Twilight, and true to their suspicions, Spike stumbled from Twilight's back in a sort of daze.

"Alright, I'll… I'll go," he half-mumbled, his purple cheeks burning red.

Twilight levitated one of the orbs, while Spike waddled over to Rainbow Dash with the other.

"Now, careful – make sure you mount _before_ the wing joints," she warned, attempting to glance back to make sure he didn't screw anything up.

Like her wings, for instance. The last thing she needed was a trip to the hospital – it would sure to be Boredomville.

"Gotchya," Spike replied, and he swiftly hoisted his leg, and then the rest of his body, across and over Rainbow's back.

"Alright, let's try this out," said Rainbow Dash, once she felt comfortable with Spike's weight.

"Uh, _try_?"

"Yeah, you know, test flight. I wanna see how different your extra weight is so I can adjust how I fly to match."

"You mean, you've _never_ flown with someone on your-"

"Nope! Here we go!"

And Rainbow Dash lifted her forelegs into the air, slammed them to the ground, and took off at a gallop.

"_Aaaaaa-"_

Feeling the rush of cool air passing by her mane, she unfurled her wings.

"_-aaaaaa_-"

And with one, two, _three!_ flaps of her wings, she was aloft.

"_Woohoo!_" she shouted over roaring wind and lashing air.

"_-aaaaaaa_-" screamed Spike, hugging her neck as tight as he could.

She did a few loop-de-loops and a couple of sudden turns – all so she could judge Spike's effect on her momentum, of course; them being fun was just a side effect – and when she felt alright with the extra weight, she touched back down to Earth in front of the crowd, smiling enthusiastically.

"_Is that supposed to be our lead?_" one of the investigators whispered to another – obviously unaware that he wasn't very good at whispering.

"Hey, what's that supposed to-"

"Yes, yes it is," replied Applejack before Rainbow Dash could interject further. "Y'all have a problem with that?"

And she gave them a glare that Rainbow swore could resurrect the dead if it were aimed at tombstones.

"Uh, n-n-no, ma'am!"

"Right, then." She turned and smiled at Rainbow Dash.

"Uh, thanks, Applejack!"

"Weren't nothin'," she replied. "Y' pick up a few things on a farm. Now, about Pinkie."

"Oh, right." She turned to the crowd. "Alright, we're looking for a pink poofy pony with party balloons as her cutie mark! Any pink hairs or fibres, any hoofmarks not your own, any sign of a struggle, you tell your leader immediately, capiche?"

"Yes, ma'am!" the group replied in unison.

"You have your tasks. Alpha, group to the path's left. Beta, to the path's right, and Gamma, towards Fluttershy's house. Wait for further instruction from your leader. Dismissed!"

Twilight walked up to Rainbow Dash and poked Spike with her hoof.

"_Hey, Spike, you're on the ground now,_" she whispered.

"_I don't care,_" muttered Spike, still clinging to Rainbow's back, his eyes clamped shut. "_I'm not opening them. She might take off at any moment._"

"Don't worry, that was just a test," Rainbow said reassuringly. "As much as it _pains_ me to say, we'll be going slower – we don't want to miss anything, after all."

"Come on, Spikey-wikey, how can you know when you're needed if you don't look?"

Spike sprang upright at the sound of Rarity's voice.

"That's the spirit, that's my Spikey!" she said, smiling. "And, since you're being _ever _so generous, I might be able to work out a little gift for you."

"Woah, _really_?"

"Of _course_," Rarity emphasised.

Spike's tongue stuck out and his eyes darted upwards, no doubt imagining whatever could be in store for him.

"But after some shut-eye, of course – Rainbow, you're – _yaaawn_ – you're ever so kind to let us sleep while you're out there searching."

"Aw, shucks, you've done _more_ than enough – these orbs will make things _so_ much easier, once we'd dealt with the whole activation thing, of course."

"Of course," Rarity repeated. "Well, good luck with your search. I shall be wishing you well in my dreams!"

And she trotted off towards Ponyville, her normally graceful step staggering ever so often in exhaustion.

"I'll be wishing you well too!" said Twilight, her eylids drooping lower and lower with each moment passing. "May Celestria – _yaawwn_ – may her rays shine down on your search and light the way to – _yaaawn_ – to success."

And she turned after Rarity, her own path much more zig-zaggity and clumsy.

"Rarity will be _dreaming_ about me," said Spike, his voice dripping with adoration.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Slow your wings, lover-boy, we've got a job to do."

"Oh, right, Pinkie Pie," he said, shaking his head.

As she took off again to join her team, her own mind turned to Pinkie Pie. What could make her leave? She doubted it was anything _they_ did; she couldn't even see the major problem with what Spike had said. Pinkie was as loyal as they came, and she'd had no doubt that Pinkie would doubt Spike's words until she had seen them true herself.

It must have been something _huge_.

And so, for the Element of Loyalty, Pinkie's lack thereof was nothing short of an enigma.

* * *

If Pinkamina was honest, sometimes she didn't know herself.

Sure, most of the time the reasons were held clear in her mind, where they echoed, repeating over and over.

_Her friends didn't like her._

_Her friends didn't want to be her friends any more._

_She should leave, and never come back._

But sometimes, in brief moments of clarity, she wondered why she was leaving behind such a lovely town with such friendly people, the friendliest of all had been the other Elements of Harmony – her friends.

And then one of her voices reminded her of what they had done, of how they'd betrayed her so, and anger washed over her once more.

It was nearing the middle of the day, and by now Pinkamina had reached the train station. Built before there was even a Ponyville and the nearby farms were the only things around, the train station was far out of the way of the township proper – which normally would be a nuisance, but now served Pinkamina's purposes perfectly. With no-one but the ticket master and conductor to see her go, it would take some time before the news would arrive to her former so-called friends exactly which direction she had taken.

"What can I do for you, Pinkie?" asked the ticket master

"One ticket for Manehat-"

_Go to Canterlot_, a voice inside her said.

That didn't make sense. Canterlot was where the Princess was – it'd be harder to hide there, and-

_Go to Canterlot._

This voice was different from the other voices – it felt cold and sharp. Almost cunning. Perhaps a personification of her strategic qualities?

But then, the rough boyish voice chimed in.

_That's a great idea!_ it said.

_Ze'll never zink to look vor ju zere!_ the foreign female agreed. _Eckzactly becaze it vould be harder to hide!_

_Yeah, you'll be safe right under the Princess's nose! You could just lay low in the outskirts for a while, and then after that, everything would be peachy!_

_It iz not az if ze Princess comes down to ze suburbs anyway! She joost stays in ze castle, ap in her ivory tower!_

"Pinkie Pie! Are you alright?"

Pinkamina shook her head clear.

"Oh, uh- yes, of course, I'm-"

She sighed.

"-okie-dokie-lokie."

"If you're sure…"

The ticket master was looking at her with an odd expression. Just another pony that thought she was a weirdo, she guessed.

"One ticket to Canterlot, one way."

"One way? Are you sure, deary?"

"I'll be staying for a while."

"If it's just for a week or two, we can-"

"No, it's much longer than that."

The ticket master frowned, but she didn't say any more on the subject.

"Alright, that'll be two bits."

"Hang on, I'll just get my-"

It was at that point that she realised that she had forgotten her kerchief.

_Or that Ditzy character might have stolen it_, the male voice said.

She sighed, and turned to take the path that followed the tracks.

"Uh, Pinkie deary! If you forgot your money, you can always pay me back later."

"Uh, r-really?"

"Of course, dear." She rummaged around for a moment and produced a ticket through a small gap in the window.

"T-thanks." Pinkamina took the tickets in her mouth.

"Any time, deary. The train won't be here for another ten minutes, though – there's a bench for waiting on the platform."

"Okie-dokie."

Ten minutes was fine, ten minutes she could wait. They were but milliseconds in the great scheme of things, and she'd made it this far in a day – what would ten minutes mean?

* * *

It so happened that most of Ponyville was none-the-wiser of the sudden lack of Pinkie Pie in the town. Sure, many townfolk had noticed it, but they had put it down to her having a sick day, or perhaps a trip with her friends. News of the search had not yet filtered down from the forests and fields, and those involved with the search saw it as a good thing – the last thing they needed was an entire town worrying needlessly.

Of the oblivious ponies of Ponyville, the one that might have known the least of all about Pinkie's disappearance was a young pale-yellow redheaded pony named Apple Bloom. It wasn't very often that their lives crossed paths, after all, with her being part of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Pinkie doing... whatever it was Pinkie did all day.

At this moment she was in the local park, attempting to find the location she and her friends had agreed to meet earlier that day – attempting being the operative word, because wherever it was, it was certainly out of the way.

It was, therefore, to her great surprise when a pegasus appeared to suddenly fall out of the sky in front of her – and that pegasus wasn't her friend Scootaloo.

"Oh my cheese and whiskers!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. "Are- are you alright?"

The gray pegasus with long blond hair shook her head and got to her feet.

"Sure thing, I do that all the time." She gestured to a mailbag she was wearing. "I have a package for Pinkie Pie, do you know where she is?"

"Uh, no, Miss Mailmare," she replied. "Uh, why are ya asking me?"

"You're Miss Applejack's sister, right? Well, I saw Pinkie earlier today out by the rock fields, and since your farm is nearby I thought you might have seen her."

"The rock fields? Uh, our farm is about a kilometer or two down from there," Apple Bloom replied – perhaps that fall had done more than the pegasus had realised. "It's the first one you run into going out of Ponyville."

"Oh, it is? Sorry, then." The mailmare paused for a moment, a concentrated look on her face. "Oh, right! Your friend Scootaloo wanted me to tell you that they moved their meeting to Rarity's place – apparently there's some rain scheduled today for the park and they only just found out a few minutes ago. Well, it would be an hour and a few minutes by now. Anyway, gotta fly, these packages don't deliver themselves!"

"Now, hold on a minute-" Apple Bloom began, but the mailmare was already off.

And the young filly was left to wonder what exactly had just transpired.


	4. Misaligned Outliers

******There'll Be Cake  
Chapter** 4: Misaligned Outliers  


_Or: Trains, Pegasi and Helpful Fillies_

The ten minutes were almost up.

Pinkamina looked away from the station clock's constant ticking and to where the track was swallowed by the trees of White Tail Woods, from which direction the train from St. Lunis was sure to arrive; indeed, she could already see small puffs of smoke rising above the trees and dissipating in the midday sky.

She sighed with relief – at least she'd been able to get away without much trouble-

"Look out!"

A flash of gray and blonde zoomed down from the heavens and landed in a heap right in front of Pinkamina.

She leaned over the winged body with a look of concern, momentarily forgetting she was supposed to be angry with everypony.

"Are- are you alright?"

But no sooner has she asked, the pegasus sprung back up, and Pinkamina recognised her – it was Ditzy Doo again. Her mane and the mail sash she was wearing somewhat ruffled, but otherwise, she seemed unharmed by her fall, save for perhaps a dazed expression on her face.

"Sure I am! That happens all the time," explained the mailmare with a smile.

"Oh, it's _you_." Pinkamina glared at her – perhaps she'd get the hint from the bitterness that laced her words and leave.

"Of course it's me!" Ditzy replied. "I couldn't really be anyone else, could I? Unless I _am…_ ooh, what if my mind's been swapped with an alien, and vise versa!"

Pinkamina laughed into her hoof. "You've been talking with Lyra too much."

And then she shook her head. "No, _argh!_ I see what you're doing. I've got my eye on you."

She couldn't let her guard down. She couldn't let them trick her again.

"Oh, I'm glad _someone_ can see what I'm doing, because I certainly can't – my eyes are stuck in my headsies!" She clicked her hoof suddenly. "Ah, that reminds me – I've got a package to deliver."

"I don't want any packages." What would it be, now that Spike had surely told the others that their secret was out? Fake reconciliations? Mocking messages? Hateful hurtful comments meant to slash and tear at her psyche until nothing was left?

"I think you'll like this one."

And before Pinkamina could protest, she placed her snout inside her bag and brought out-

"_Gummy!_"

Ditzy nodded as she drew the green lizard out and placed him on Pinkie's mane.

"He's been missing you since you left him behind," she explained as soon as her mouth had let go of Gummy's tail. "You left in quite a hurry, you left everything behind. Oh, one more thing."

And out of the sack came Pinkamina's kerchief-on-a-stick.

"Good, everything's here," she said, quickly nosing around in it as soon as Ditzy had placed it on the floor.

"Of course everything's there, silly!" exclaimed Ditzy. "No-one else has had access to it but me!"

"That's exactly what I _thought_." She raised her head to look Ditzy straight in the eye. "Look, if you-"

But Pinkamina was interrupted by the long, loud whine of the train whistle in the distance, Both she and Dinky looked to watch as the train emerged from the woods and filed along the track, wheels clacking and pistons steaming.

"Oh, you're going somewhere?" Ditzy's eyes lit up. "Ooo, where?"

_Don't tell her!_ whispered the boyish voice into Pinkamina's ear.

_Ze joost wants to ruine jour plans!_ the foreign voice agreed.

PInkamina narrowed her eyebrows. "I have a train to catch, so please, leave me alone, and _don't follow_."

"Okay-dokay-lokay!" Ditzy exclaimed, jumping into the air and performing a hover-salute.

"It's- never mind," Pinkamina replied as the train sidled into the station behind her, the draft blowing her mane aside. "Thank you."

"Alrighty!" Ditzy did a small twirl. "Well, I've got other ponies' mail to deliver, so catch ya later, party pony!"

And with that, the pegasus took off, very narrowly missing the station tower as she did.

PInkamina slowly shook her head as the turned and trotted to the now-stopped carriage. Ditzy could be stubborn at the best of times, and the last thing she needed was to give her so-called friends her destination.

She was very glad she nipped that potential problem in the bud.

* * *

It appeared, however, that unbeknownst to her another potential problem was budding up, and was preparing to bloom.

"Hey, sis! Hey sis!" shouted Apple Bloom as she bounded after her sister, who was at that moment galloping through a wheat field.

Applejack groaned. "Apple Bloom, I'd love to stop 'n' play, but some other time perhaps? I'm a smidge busy-"

Something seemed to catch her attention, because she suddenly stopped – so suddenly that Apple Bloom almost ran into her – and turned her head.

"Hey! Number Twenty-Two! I reck'n I said your group should do the _west_ field!"

"_Sorry!_" called another pony a few meters away, one dressed in a reflective yellow vest.

Wait, what exactly _was_ Applejack doing?

Apple Bloom shook her head – there were more urgent matters.

"Anyway," continued Applejack as she started walking again, "what I'm doin' here is _really_ important, so unless-"

"But this is _really_ important too!" Apple Bloom protested. "The mailmare sent me!"

Applejack sighed. "The mailmare can deliver any mail to Sweet Apple Acres as usual-"

"It's not about _our_ mail, it's-"

"Well then, I don't see how I can help."

"You're friends with Pinkie Pie, aren't you?"

She stopped in her tracks.

"Uh, come again?"

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes – she didn't know why Applejack was being so uncharacteristically… well, dense.

"You. Friends with Pinkie Pie."

"You know somethin' 'bout where Pinkie Pie is?"

"Uh… no. But the mailmare was lookin' for her so she could deliver a package!"

"Apple Bloom, we're… we're _all_ lookin' for her," Applejack replied solemnly.

Apple Bloom jumped with glee. "Ooh, ooh, can I help? I'll be the best searcher helper ever!"

Applejack shook her head. "No. This isn't a game, this is serious."

"But I can be serious!" She adopted what she'd thought was one of the most serious faces she could think of – that of one of the doctors at Ponyville Hospital – and began to 'seriously' look through the stalks of wheat in all directions.

"She's not here, not here… _definitely _not here – oh hi there, littl' hedgehog! Can you-"

The hedgehog squeaked and scurried for cover.

"Guess he's not in th' talkin' mood," Apple Bloom said, scratching her chin.

"Look, I _know_ you're trying to help. But unless you know where she is, you should really go and – I dunno, have fun with those friends of yours! Leave us to deal with the borin' stu-"

"Friends? That's _it!_ Thanks Applejack!"

"Er… you're welcome?"

And Apple Bloom sprinted off. She knew what to do now – she'd get the Cutie Mark Crusaders to help her find Pinkie Pie! Together there weren't nothin' they couldn't do.

Well, apart from earn their cutie marks… but still, they'd accomplished all those things _while_ trying to earn them, right?

It was at that moment when something clicked in Apple Bloom's mind, and she bounded back to Applejack.

"-direct your search over there," she was saying to a small group of ponies. "And, uh, number Twenty-Two, you still havin' a little trouble findin' your group?"

"_Sorry!_" called one of the stallions in the back.

"Hey sis!"

Applejack sighed again. "What is it now?"

"I don't know where Pinkie _is_, but I know where she _was_. Would _that_ be helpful?"

"You know where Pinkie was?" Applejack turned to face her sister. "Yes, that'd be mighty fine of ya."

"The mailmare said she ran into her at… _uh…_"

Apple Bloom furrowed her brow in concentration.

"… a farm! Or a field! I think."

Applejack slanted her eyebrows.

"But it wasn't just any farm or field! It was a really odd one, like what it grew was really weird. I reck'n it was something like… uh, soil or dirt or-"

"Sweet Jiminy Sassafras!" Applejack started very abruptly, almost jumping into the air. "It wouldn't 'ave been a _rock_ farm, by any chance?"

"Yes! A rock farm! At least, that _sounds_ right…"

"I shoulda seen it before." Applejack stared at the ground dejectedly. "The farm was one of th' first things she told us about…"

She shook her head. "No use lettin' that stop us. Frettin' about the past doesn't do ya any good."

"Let _what_ stop us? _What_ past?" asked Apple Bloom.

Applejack didn't reply, and instead began to scan the area. Apple Bloom didn't know what she was looking for, but all the same she imitated her sister (between bounds over the wheat stalks), hoping that whatever it was would become obvious if she did.

"Oy, Number Twenty-Two!" Applejack shouted once she'd sighted her target.

"_Argh!_" said the pony in question, who, from the path he'd made, had been wandering around in spirals. "I'm still in the wrong place, aren't I? _No! Bad Sheer! You shouldn't be making these basic mistakes!_ Oh crud, Ma was right about my sense of direc-"

Apple Bloom stopped bounding and looked to her sister - Applejack was wearing a rather bemused look on her face.

"No, no, that's... that's fine. I'm goin' ta need you to run into town, get the Mayor to ring the town bell. Then alert Twilight – uh, Twilight Sparkle, she lives at the library, if you can't find it ask the Mayor – she'll want to know all about this too."

"Uh…"

Applejack sighed. "Town would be in _that_ direction," she said, pointing her hoof over the stalks. "Just follow the path and it should lead ya down the main road to the hall. You can't miss it!"

"Okay!"

And the muffled sound of crushing stalks made its way towards the main road and off into the distance.

"All right, everypony else! We need to regroup at the rock farm – it's just down the road from here so I reck'n it shan't be too hard to find. Once there, fan out and search for any sign of Pinkie – hair, hoof-prints, anything."

The group nodded in unison and, one by one, filed out of the corn patch.

"Oh, and Number Fifteen, could you go get Big Mac for me, he should be talkin' to the McWillison family."

"Right!" one of them called as they left.

Everypony else having left, Applejack now turned her attention to her sister.

"Now, I know you _really_ wanna help – and you _were_ a big help today, little sis-"

Apple Bloom sighed. "I know, this is no place for a filly."

Applejack smiled. "Glad you understand. Now, I want you to promise – to _Pinky _Promise – that you'll keep out of all of this, okay?"

"O_kaaay_," she answered gloomily. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

"Alright then," Applejack said. "Now, I'll be tellin' that you did to Pinkie Pie after we find her, so there's no gettin' out of it onna-account of it just bein' you an' me."

Apple Bloom nodded solemnly.

"Now run along, and go have fun with yer friends. Pinkie would want ya to."

Again, Apple Bloom nodded, and then she trotted off.

Well, that was a downer. Now that she'd made a Pinkie Promise, she was bound to it. Or else… well, she'd heard rumours about what happened to fillies who broke a Pinkie Promise, and half of them involved kidnapping, chainsaws and cupcakes.

Now sure, eating cupcakes were something she _loved_ to do, but being forced to eat hundreds and hundreds of cupcakes crafted by chainsaws all night long? Even _she_ could see herself getting sick of that. (Although crafting cupcakes by chainsaws was _certainly_ one of the things she wanted to see in her life.)

The other half of the set of rumours featured a crazy Pinkie Pie hunting you down and making you apologise. The fillies in her school weren't particularly inventive.

_Focus_, she told herself. _Foal's tales aren't what you should be thinkin' 'bout at a time like this._

Alright, _technically_, if the Cutie Mark Crusaders did their _own_ investigation, they _would_ be keeping out of _Applejack_'s investigation. So she wouldn't be breaking her Pinkie Promise!

Then again, if the foal's tales were _true_, then breaking the Pinkie Promise was the best way to find Pinkie. So, either way would probably work.

Apple Bloom frowned. Better to play it safe. They'd do their own investigation, and who knows, perhaps investigation cutie marks would be on the way for them? Perhaps hers would be a magnifying glass, or maybe even a pipe!

Apple Bloom grinned to herself. An adventure, finding a friend, _and_ a nearly-assured cutie mark? Things were looking bright.

* * *

The sound of the town bell jolted Rainbow Dash from her dutiful task of minding the yellow-vested searchers through dirt-patch after endless dirt-patch. She jolted upwards, burst through the tree cover, and scanned the sky for Fluttershy.

"Hey, watch it!" said Spike, yawning and stretching after having been snoozing on Rainbow's back for the last two hours. "Those twigs _really_ scrape!"

Ignoring Spike for the moment, Rainbow continued to look for the yellow-and-purple blob that was her friend. When she at last spied her, she elbowed Spike with her wing.

"What?"

"I could hardly hear that bell myself, so I doubt Fluttershy could."

"Bell?"

Rainbow glared at him.

"Oh, _th-that_ bell," he stammered in an attempt to cover up his napping. "Sure, I'll send up the flare."

Up shot the dazzling display, bursting apart with a loud _bang_ as the lights burst apart. In the distance, the yellow-and-pink-blob appeared to turn, and then sent up their own flare in reply.

At the confirmation of message received, Rainbow dashed back under the canopy (much to Spike's chagrin) to address the team.

"Alright, everypony, I'm going to see what all the fuss is about. I'll probably be back in ten, so stay put for now, Fluttershy and her team will be with you shortly."

The team nodded their acknowledgement, and at that Rainbow Dash sped off (with Spike clamping around her neck in sheer terror), hoping that whatever it was was worth it, that it would bring them one step closer to finding Pinkie.

* * *

Pinkamina had found an empty car to sit down in, and was now staring out the window, watching the scenery go by wistfully. A fleeting thought told her that it would be much more fun with her friends.

_Oh, the friends that betrayed you and laughed at you at every turn? _said the harsh, cold voice inside her head._ The ones that didn't believe you about the parasprites? The ones that mocked your Pinkie Sense?_

That was pretty cruel, wasn't it?

She had laid out her possessions on the seat beside her, so they could get some air from being locked up in a kerchief all day. Soon, though, it had become clear that two of the three voices came not from her head, but from the objects themselves – they had just been muffled by the kerchief, as it turned out.

_ "It vas downright despicable!"_ the foreign voice of Madame Le Cake replied.

_"I'm just glad none of those ponies caught up to us!"_ agreed the rough, boyish voice of Rocky the rock pile.

She'd not known that she'd baked some sentient cake when she'd been cooking yesterday morning, nor that her rock pile had opinions of its own, but now that she'd given them the chance to speak, she was glad she had. They were her _real_ friends, them and Gummy – they agreed with her opinions, and shared her pain.

Gummy growled his own thoughts.

"Well, sure, there _were_ plenty of good times…"

_"But zey were all lies!_" Madame Le Cake spat. "_Zey were uzing jou vour zeir own zelvish entertainment!"_

_"You ought to consider yourself lucky you caught on in time,"_ Rocky continued. "_If you had kept being deceived, who knows what would have happened!"_

_"Zey vould haf been enboldend, and would have found biggur and more subtle vays af making jou miserabled!"_

Yeah! Who needed them! Pinkamina was a lot better off without them anyway! Her name was Pinkamina and she's fine!

Still, a small part of her couldn't help but disbelieve that _those_ five ponies, the ones she'd spent all that time and effort in caring about, would stoop to such levels. And yet, evidently they had.

Perhaps that was the one thing hindering her, holding her back – a small, silent voice deep inside whispering that it all can't possibly be true.


End file.
